Use this Neurobiologically-Informed Practice to Hire the Right People and Keep them
Ask anyone with a job, and they can tell you their origin story.
Even after many years on the job, they’ll eagerly and easily tell the story of how they were hired.
They can name those who they started alongside. Recount what they experienced during the hiring process. Relay both the bumps and gratitude for those cushioning moments they experienced, during onboarding over their first weeks and months.
Even at a retirement lunch, a farewell speech will recall how it started all those years ago, braided with stories. It’s all right there, like yesterday.
But who can bring to mind much of anything that happened in, say, year three on the job? That whole 12 months feel a bit of a blur.
Why is it, then, that we hold onto our origin stories so tightly? Why do they feel so perennially fresh and close at hand? Over the years I’ve developed a way to understand it, and I’d like to share it with you here.
Take a minute now. Try this thought exercise yourself. What is your job’s origin story? Describe what the interview process felt like—what you were going through. How were those first few days and weeks? Who helped make you feel comfortable, and who didn’t?
Vulnerability Within Your Workplace
We remember the major transitions in life—like starting a new job—because we have heightened senses—fight or flight. We are vulnerable. We often feel alone or at risk of being exposed as being less than.
If you could read the mind of your newest employee, they are likely on edge, thinking:
Have I made the right choice?
Do they like me here?
Can I do this job well?
Am I going to catch on quickly enough?
What will happen if I make a mistake?
Can I trust these people?
Will I make it past the probation period?
Are they really as nice as they seemed in the interview?
Is this a good fit for me?
I wish they’d give me more feedback (today.)
Too often, employers are just so happy to get someone new into the seat. They barrel ahead and don’t provide the close check-ins and support many new employees really need to feel secure. They don’t take into account what they could do to help build a more long-lasting relationship.
Worse, some leaders hold onto the old notion that if we “throw them into the deep end and they can swim,” it was meant to be. In a tight labour market like the one we are in presently, this is especially foolhardy.
An employee is never more vulnerable than during hiring, onboarding, and their first year on the job.
Even six months into their first year working with you, the smouldering worry is still often present.
Those leaders who take the time, and care, to find out what their newest employee is feeling and experiencing on the job are playing to win and are far more likely to retain great staff over the long term.
How to Use Attachment Theory during Onboarding
In developmental psychology, attachment theory describes how our earliest relationships with primary caregivers shape our expectations of safety. Unsurprisingly, how well our formative needs were met is foundationally important.
Permit me then, an analogy I often use. Hiring and onboarding, done well, helps employees to attach and feel secure more quickly.
Listen for when a new employee switches from using “you and your” over to “we and us” as an indicator of that attachment deepening.
The way we integrate transition periods into our career narrative is deeply felt. They are the connecting stories that stitch together our working lives.
So, as a leader, don’t ignore the emotional needs of onboarding staff. They are watching very carefully, and their senses are heightened.
Don’t leave the way they are hired, onboarded, and therefore how they attach, to chance. Get it right by being intentional.
Ask yourself what’s going on when they first arrive—what’s going to be their first impression?
Onboarding is not an HR checklist. It’s a leadership opportunity. So, who’s coaching and guiding them on each step of the attachment journey?
If this feels all too mollycoddling for you, that you think staff just need to toughen up and be grateful to have a job, then you are going to lose in this market. Plus, you are not attuned to the mindset of most who are in the first halves of their careers.
Neurodevelopmental-Informed Practice makes for a Smarter Workspace
When we hire someone, we've already gone through a lot—both of us. We both really, really, want this to work out. And, it's going to be costly (time, money, reputation) for both of us if it doesn't.
So, at first, most leaders try hard to create a smooth entry for our newest person. Then, after a few days, weeks, months, many just kind of expect them to get it—and then we largely leave them on their own.
And hey, we reason, there’s a Performance Appraisal at their one-year anniversary, so we can always course correct then if we need to—can’t we?
Thinking like this is a mistake in our current labour market.
We have many workers eager for continual feedback on their daily performance and want ongoing nourishment for their career goals.
If you wholeheartedly adopt this as your leadership and management mindset, and you put in place the time and resources to help them attach deeply and quickly, they will stay longer and perform better. Often, they will become fiercely loyal.
Formative experiences are times of heightened vulnerability. They set templates in our brain—and they shape the way we move forward in relationships.
This is as true at work as it is everywhere else in life. The employer-employee relationship is no different. So, what’s your next hire’s origin story going to be? Don’t leave it to chance. You are the one to orchestrate how well, and how quickly, they attach.
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