The Connection Between Listening and Leadership

Your hand is raised. You’ve been seen. Excellent.

Now you’re line to speak. You’re not really listening anymore because you’re shaping your own first words, keen to talk. Make your point.

Beyond the first part of what you are going to say, do you know what’s next? Kind of, kind of not.

You’re going to wing it, betting that once you get revved up the rest will reveal itself!

Your turn arrives. You launch in. Say your main point in three ways just so it lands, just so you find the best way to express it.

Then you pause and look around.

You realize that most people are not really listening. Their hands are half raised, like yours was moments ago. They are waiting and planning for their turn to speak…

Must we? Show up like this in meetings? No, of course not. There is another way.

Leaders with great listening skills do these three simple things well:

1. Validate — what others are saying as having merit and value.

Get good at this and people will always enter your conversation hopeful, and leave satisfied.

2. Mirror back — the main points of discussion to ensure everyone has been heard correctly and fairly.

Get good at this and folks will feel seen, understood, and heard.

3. Convert — open ended, winding discussion into clear agreements, actions, or projects. Right then and there—through shared decision making.

Get good at this and you’ll be known as decisive, collaborative, and productive.