“I can’t decide. It’s overwhelming.”

I hear this, as a coach, more than you’d think.

Overwhelm is real. It’s a dysregulated state. And it’s one that leaders often like to hide (from, behind, in the shadows of…)

One of the tools to help reduce overwhelm is this:

Let’s list out all the possibilities. All. Of. Them.

Our talking starts.

Inevitably, these thoughts, these overwhelm pathways are well trod.

Sometimes, sure, as old “fresh-eyes” here, I can add in a new idea, but mostly they’ve covered all the ground before.

(Of course, we ask ‘what if we do nothing!’ That’s a viable option sometimes; other times it’s the root of the problem.)

Narrowing the Choices

Next, to combat overwhelm, we number the choices. Two, three, four.

After we discount the silly, the foolhardy, the timid, we are usually left with one or two viable options.

As in, should I …

• stay or go?

• sell or not?

• fire/hire this person?

• change it, or not?

Then I ask a ton more questions, to get to the real root of it, like:

• Why is this really a hard decision for you?

• When previously have decisions like this felt overwhelming?

• What’s the worst outcome, and what’s the best?

• What might you regret, what might you learn?

Sometimes we role play both sides of the conversation. (One almost always feels “more right”.)

Other times, the right path has already become obvious, and the “how” is where they now need support. The overwhelm begins to subside.

Decision Making is a Leader’s Work

Decision making can be messy, agonizing, stymieing.

We can get all flight or fright. After all, as leaders we bring our full selves to it. There are real consequences we must accept.

But, know there is always a way through the overwhelm.

You can make this call. Just find someone who can listen to you, and can let you talk your way through it—right to the very end.